I’ve been to many conferences – mostly technology and/or library related. I have also been to many retreats and led mindfulness activities – mostly Buddhist in nature. This conference was unique for me because it dealt with mindfulness from a purely secular perspective and aligns itself very easily with the applied ethics theme/effort that Thich Nhat Hanh has been exploring the past couple of years. Though I arrived a little uncertain, because of my experience as a practitioner and educator, I was not disappointed with the presentations and panels. I now have a better understanding of what has occurred in bringing mindfulness into schools and what challenges these leaders experienced.

What follows are my notes and thoughts from a handful of the presentations.

PRESENTERS AND PANELS 

The Data: How Kids are Actually Interacting with Technology (Joya Roy, CEO Sequence)

Joya’s task was to provide some data. How is behavior and society changing and then how do you create a brand, etc. is what his company focuses on with clients. How kids are interacting mobile and social environments. This is what’s happening. No judgement. Consumer environment has changed radically in the last century. Average kid spends 7 hrs. 48 minutes interacting with some type of device (Kaiser Famiy Foundation, 2010). If you consider “media multitasking” it’s 10-hrs. 45-min. As the devices increase in number, and as the smart phone is ubiquitous, our access to information increases and this time will increase in the future. Keep in mind that iPhone didn’t even launch until 2007 (and Android in 2009!). 80% of youth own a mobile phone (Pew, 2011). Text messaging is primary form of digital communication. Smart phone sales will surpass PC sales in 2012 – outside the US, thus means billions will have phones rather than a computer. 7.5 million Facebook users are under 13 (5m of this under 11). Touch and voice are the expectation, especially for those very young. Texts and Facebook – not email. Shorter interactions.

The Brain, Mindfulness, and Youth with Dan Siegel (nterviewed by Soren)

Impact of texting wit friends versus talking in person. But we shouldn’t despair too much. Interpersonal Neurobiology is his field. Take all branches of science then we can have a fuller view. We see wisdom derived from integration. Texting seems to be only drawing from one side of the brain, and this may be to the detriment of the youth because the right hemisphere develops before the other – see The Master and his Emissary. The left loves syllogistic reasoning. The left is very literal. Some like to say it’s the “digital” hemisphere. The right is more about the body. Body signals come to the right hemisphere. Of course, the two hemispheres work together. The digital age is shaping the mind. But he’s not despairing; he repeated this multiple times. Integration made visible is kindness. The two hemispheres integrated. Integration is a scientific concept. Know your own nervous system. Knowing when you are in one hemisphere versus the other. To be present is being your whole self for their whole self. Can we know our authentic self in a digital age. Attention shapes the structure of the brain. Integration is the key. Integrative networks are regulatory. The Healthy Mind Platter – guide for mind development – it’s on his web site – sleep time, physical time, focus time, connecting time, down time, play time, time in (looking inward – Mindfulness practice). This needs to be a bottom-up effort. The Schools of Education aren’t gonna do it. No Pre-Frontal Cortex Left Behind - haha.

Mindful Parenting in the Technology Age (Soren, Eric Schiermeyer, Michelle Gale, Pat Christen from Hope Lab, Chade-Meng Tan)

Nice panel of parents who shared their experiences and tips for supporting their families with mindfulness.

Teens and Technology (Gopi Kallayil from Google + four teens)

All seniors in high school. Born in 1993. The year Mosiac and Newton were released.

Cultivating Joy in Kids: the Dragonfly Effect (Jennifer Aaker, Marketing Professor at Stanford)

Her kids sat on the stage while she made her presentation Happiness, joy, and meaning. They have a lab at Stanford. They also work in the area of social media. Her household is (he) loves technology and (she) isn’t too keen on it. She’s a marketing professor. So, they collected data. What is the role of technology in the family. What stories I. Social media stick? Deep meaning. Focus on single goal. Grab attention. Tells a story. Enables others to act. The dragonfly is a symbol of happiness. Small acts can create change. Wrote a book. Rethink happiness. Nice slides.

Re-Imagining Schools: Mindfulness and Education (Susan Kaisar Greenland – Mindfulness Together, Megan Cowan – Mindful Schools, Victor Diaz – REALM Charter School)

Susan adapted Buddhist practices to be age appropriate and secular. Put the practice first. Name it later. Experiential. Apply to a real life situation and regular routine. Integrated. Not “let’s do Mindfulness”

Victor’s charter school is founded on mindful practices. All students are in a wellness class – Mindfulness fitness. In Berkeley. Sounds like they use yoga. Moving from individual practice into their “outer” space and actually integrate is more challenging. Relationship building is key – knowing the kids can help you tap into the kid and connect the practice. You ask kids to jump, but you don’t always tell them where they’re going to land.

Megan is based in Oakland and been operating for about 5-years. Two programs. Go into the schools and teach Mindfulness is one. The first way to describe Mindfulness is your own presence. What do you bring. We must have a thorough understanding (this is Thay’s Applied Ethics effort – learn the practice).

The Opportunity Ahead (Dan Siegel, Susan Kaiser Greenland, Meng Tan, Soren)

Great final panel. Nice balance of practice, science, and innovation. I think Meng said tech can be developed to accelerate mindfulness by factor of 10. Instead of 40-yrs, do in 4-yrs. Then the device self-destructs.

In the end, I’m still sitting with what I heard on Saturday. I’m inspired, curious, and hopeful for what this means for me personally as well as the continued efforts to bring mindfulness into work and schools. 

In the very first talk given by the Buddha, he outlines this foundational concept. The First Noble Truth says there is suffering, ill-being. The Second is about the cause of our suffering, and the Third Noble Truth talks of the cessation of suffering. This is the presence of happiness. We can learn how to produce happiness. We have many practices for this transformation, but I especially am drawn to the two foundational practices of meditation of “stopping” and “looking deeply.”

We can do this. Just a few short hours of practice and we can begin to train our mind. It’s quite simple to discover happiness in the present moment and to transform our relationships.

We have been offered mindful breathing exercises. The first is following our breath – mere recognition. This can be done anytime, anywhere. We can use sounds and images from the world around to remind us to return to our breathing. For example, I have a computer application that invites me to stop every 70-minutes. But it could be the telephone, a red light, a child’s laughter. We stop and come back to our breathing. This is stopping. It can be practiced anytime, anywhere. I love this practice. I begin my training with sitting meditation, but it doesn’t have to stop on the cushion. Learn to discover methods to following our breath. When we feel anger, frustration, or despair, returning to our breath can immediately bring us relief. Try it – it’s true!

The next steps outlined for mindful breathing is awareness of our body and releasing tension. Learning to calm our body. Where is our body? We can do this when we are standing, walking, sitting, and lying down – and know that we are doing each. My emotions often come through strongly in my body. How does my body feel? How does my body behaves? In touching this we can bring relieve. In recognizing the body, we see the connection between body and mind. This is especially true when we practice sitting meditation – we should see the unity of body and mind. For some, walking meditation works much better than just sitting.

If we can practice these first few exercises, then we can also nourish joy, happiness and learn to explore our feelings. Maybe we try something like this:

Breathing in, I feel joyful. Breathing out, I feel joyful.
Breathing in, I feel happy. Breathing out, I feel happy.

It is a simple practice, silly even, but it can bring a lot of transformation. There are people who have no peace and joy because they cannot stop their thinking. We can also practice joy by bringing awareness to those parts of our body we may not always remember – our eyes, our heart, our liver. Breathing in, I know know I have two good eyes. Breathing out, I feel joy.

Happiness goes a little further. The story often given is that of a person in the desert who sees an oasis. She is joyful upon discovering the oasis and she is happy when she takes a drink from the water.

Here I have outlined just the first six exercises of mindful breathing. These exercises of mindful breathing can bring about personal transformation, but it can provide the foundation to bring transformation to our relationships – relationships with our parents, our children, our consumption.

Being out front, wanting to lead, is something I’ve always done. I can manage many tasks at one time across a wide range of areas – committees, politics, spiritual, home. It seems to be a gift because it comes naturally for me . But the gift of abundance does also must have a balance. Most of the time my life feels in balance, but there comes a time when it feels like the house of cards will fall.

My goal is to present for those around me. This means that “my tasks” sometimes get put aside for the benefit of those who work for me and those who I mentor and support. Because this goal of presence is mine, I do it with joy and awareness. The others in my life, both at home and at work, hold no responsibility for my feeling of imbalance. As a Library Director, I let the day take me with it and there must be space in the calendar to allow for flexibility. As a husband and father, I let the evening take me with it even if the “work” tasks were left incomplete. Though I don’t do this 100%, it is an intentional goal and practice. As Catherine Hakala-Ausperk wrote in Be A Great Boss, “being prepared for permanent whitewater will give you the attitude you need for that day.”

The benefits of being available are immeasurable. There are costs, of course, but I believe the benefits outweigh the costs. It is the human connection that will have a lasting impact, not completing the report or reading the background material or finalizing that budget. Those things are important too, and they will get done, but I’ve set my priority elsewhere. When imbalance arrives, which it did yesterday, then I can use the tools of my practice to keep me centered. It could mean that I close my office door and focus on checking off a few items on the task list (which I didn’t do yesterday). It could mean staying up a little later or getting up a little earlier. Finding joy in the anxiety and fear is possible. Being present, sharing with someone, writing a blog post, they all contribute to balance.

(Recently I committed to writing 250-words a day, but I missed a couple days. That’s part of the letting go too, so here’s my post now.)

I’ve known for several months about this introduction, and tomorrow is the big day to introduce Raj Patel. I read his most recent book, watched some video interviews, read a few book reviews, communicated with him via email, had a conference call with him to discuss themes, and made a few notes here and there. Despite this effort over a period of months it comes down to the night before and I’m actually giving the introduction some form.

I must work better under pressure. In my experience, when it’s real and the times up, then the creativity is released.

I loved the book. I love the themes. I’m a radical with socialist leanings. I’m deeply committed to equality, the environment, reducing consumption, and generosity. As a Buddhist, it’s easier to understand and embrace his solutions. Radical democracy, with full engagement of the population, is what we need and what is being proposed by the author.

Here’s the challenge. He’s speaking (and I’m introducing) in front of 3,000 academic librarians. Certainly a more liberal bunch than the average American but not uniformly so. I’m aware of this potentially more “general” audience and yet perhaps this isn’t necessary? Maybe I let it be what it is without any sugarcoating? After all, a few years ago we had John Waters give the keynote. It’s a librarian audience but the author has something to offer us that can be applied to scholarship and the dissemination of information.

I’m very excited. The introduction is written. I’ve rehearsed and will rehearse again few more times. Now I’d like to find a good iPad teleprompter app to scroll the intro.

Kenley Only

Complete Session – begins with a period of silent sitting

4:00am Alarm
4:20am Out of Bed
4:30am In the Zendo doing Yoga
4:50am In the Zendo meditating
5:30am Shower
5:50am Breakfast (650 calorie smoothie)
6:10am Ojai Coffee Roasting Company
6:30am Van Pool to work
7:30am Work

What happened today? Recurring snooze. Sleepiness.  I didn’t get to bed any later than normal, but my body simply wanted to do something different and I decided to go with the flow. After sleeping a little later, I got up and took a shower, sat outside under the stars for a while, took a walk, snapped a picture, picked up the van, headed to the coffee shop, and now blogging!

By allowing this variation, I get to practice mindfulness to observe the feelings in the feelings, the body in the body, and the mind in the mind. Reflecting. Exploring.

Are you routine? Do you ever mix things up a bit? What does it feel like? Is it important to explore these variations?

I am responsible for the operation of a community college library. That responsibility includes vision, leadership, staffing, budget, and working directly with the students and faculty. Two important aspects of my job are (1) being able to communicate effectively and (2) being able to admit when I am wrong.

Two recent blog posts inspired me to reflect on the second aspect on making things right. I’ll save my reflection on communication for another time because I believe that “right speech” is probably the most difficult precept to practice. Roy Tennant covered Managing Personal Change with some great strategies that can be applied in many circumstances. In particular, I like learn as you breathe and be grateful. The second post by Seth Godin, Demonstrating Strength, reminds readers to apologize and to offer kindness.

Even the most effective leader will make poor decisions, communicate poorly, and pitch ideas that aren’t the right thing for the organization. In fact, it is by working through these circumstances that we can separate the truly effective leader with those who stand blindly and never acknowledging an error or mistake. I don’t want to fall into that second category.

The balancing act is staying aware of those who work with me, and help them be happy employees, and not to fall into the trap of codependency. I know that everyone can’t be happy with everything that occurs in a working environment. However, one of my goals as the Library Director is to help all employees actually want to be at work. If they are happy being present then we can provide awesome service to the customers.

In my example above, my decision was clearly counter to my philosophy of management. I’ve worked hard to create an open work environment where ideas are supported and my office door is always open. It’s been two months since the decision to proceed. The sky has not fallen, but it would be erroneous of me to not spend time in reflection on the matter.

So, how do I manage my own personal change and also demonstrate strength?

• Be inspired. I look for reading material and other people who inspire me to do better. The two blog posts above are examples. I keep my Google Reader full of other similar resources. Recently I read Linchpin and Rework and felt totally inspired.

• Meditate. Building the connection between my body and mind support my ability to be an effective leader. Knowing my own abilities and comfort zones shine light on my limitations so that I can demonstrate my strengths.

• Look at what’s important. Do I have to be right? Do I always have to get my way? If I want people to be happy in coming to work then I need to be willing to set aside my own agenda.

• Admit errors. In the end, it’s really not about me. It’s about the employees. It’s about the students. It’s about the services we can provide.

How do you demonstrate strength and manage personal change?

Leaves, Waves, Stars
Download now or listen on posterous

Leaves, Waves, Stars.mp3 (2583 KB)

A lovely practice song from the International Plum Village Sangha.

We are all the leaves of one tree.
We are all the stars of one sky.
We are all the leaves of one tree.
The time has come for all to live as one.
We are all the leaves of one tree.

We are all the waves of one sea.
We are all the waves of one sea.
The time has come for all to live as one.
We are all the waves of one sea.

We are all the stars of one sky.
We are all the stars of one sky.
The time has come for all to live as one.
We are all the stars of one sky.

We are all the leaves of one tree.
We are all the waves of one sea.
The time has come for all to live as one.
We are all the stars of one sky.

Life is filled with suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby. To suffer is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time.

This Thursday evening I have been invited to lead the Still Water Sangha in Silver Spring (just outside Washington DC). After our sitting, we will explore together how we can be happy while acknowledging the pain that is in us and around us.

At the close of the annual teen retreat this week at Deer Park Monastery, I had the opportunity to talk with a 13-year old boy. He asked, “What does it mean to be happy?” He followed up with another question, “How do you be happy when a friend brings up an experience from the past that is difficult and still is painful?”

I was amazed by these simple, yet insightful, questions.

It is the second question from this boy that I want to focus on because it raises the topic of difficult emotions. We all have them in our lives. Working with those emotions can be a challenge. I am a parent of a six-year old girl and ten-year old boy with special needs. My wife and I have been together for twenty years. Difficult emotions have been a common theme for me as I’ve learned to be a parent and partner.

Our most basic practices of breathing and walking have sustained me and helped me to calm the storms. The next phase, transforming the pain and suffering, requires looking more closely at particular emotions, feelings, and habit energies: understanding where they come from and what sustains them. Working with the difficult emotions that have arisen in my family life has pushed me to talk about them with mentors, to enter family therapy, and to focus on them more in my sitting, reflecting, and writing. This has been my path, my practice. The rewards have been immeasurable.

The program begins at 7:00pm at Crossings; I hope you can join us.

For the past 6-8 years, the monastery at Deer Park has offered two retreats in the summer – one for teens only (ages 13-17) and another for families. I have attended both these retreats and have found them very nourishing and joyful. The family retreat is particularly diverse, and brings together people from many walks of life and with a wide variety of experience with the practice. The teen retreat is less diverse, but those who attend have reported a life changing experience, and often return the following year bringing more friends. For the teen retreat, no parents are allowed and the teens camp together for the entire retreat. It really is a blast!

If you are in a sangha, I encourage you to share about these retreats in your sangha. Think about people in your life who may benefit from such a retreat, even those who are not regular practitioners, and then invite them to attend. I think teens would particularly benefit. Each year these retreats grow and they are, in my opinion, the best retreats offered by Deer Park.

In the years our family has attended the Family Retreat, I have watched my children and the children of others grow from toddlers to young children and into early teens. Wow! And now, starting in the last year or so many of these families are starting to come to Deer Park at other times during the year. It is a real community.

Though the family retreat has many children in attendance (40-50 kids!), other types of family units also attend and participate. One year, a family came together with four generations! Another time an adult son came with his mom to spend time together on the mountain

Please consider joining us this year.

Teen Camp – Rebel Buddha!
June 16 – 20

Family Retreat – Opening the Family Up
June 30 – July 4